This month, Steve sat down with friend Dom Mather—a cybersecurity expert, musician, and fellow health hacker—for an open conversation that moved effortlessly between career pivots, personal loss, and finding your rhythm in life, both on stage and off.
Dom’s journey started in Sussex, England, with a family move to Utah in 1977 (his dad literally helped write CAT scan software). After detouring from his original plan to fly Harriers for the Royal Navy, Dom found his footing in the nascent cybersecurity industry. For 25+ years, he’s been on the frontlines as firewalls evolved into AI-powered security systems battling real-time cyberattacks.
They discuss Dom’s parallel journey as a musician: from heavy metal roots and bands like Choke Hold, to blues and country influences sparked by his wife Maya. Dom’s a collector (72 guitars, 19 amps) and a seeker—constantly chasing that perfect “pocket” where music syncs beyond the notes.
They covered:
• The explosion of cyber threats and why 4.8 million cybersecurity jobs are unfilled
• How public speaking and performing rewired his confidence
• The interplay of music, vibration, and health
• Personal stories about family loss, legacy planning, and preparing for the unexpected
One theme kept surfacing: resilience through adaptation—whether it’s shifting careers, styles, or mindsets. Dom even committed on the spot to start a month-long cold shower challenge after we dove into cold exposure, grounding, and mitochondrial health.
Introduction & Backgrounds
Steve opened by welcoming Dom and reflecting on their shared network and his frequent participation in your music mixes. Dom discusses his upbringing, starting in Sussex, England, in a town called Cookfield. His family later moved to Utah in 1977 after his father, a computer engineer (who helped write the software for the CAT scan), chose a U.S. military contract over a Russian offer.
Dom’s early years were shaped by his father’s values of hard work and education. His family soon relocated to California due to Utah’s dry culture conflicting with their British love for a drink. Dom completed his education in Orange County, attending St. Margaret’s from 4th to 12th grade before going to USC.
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Military Aspirations & Career Pivot
Dom shared his initial plan to fly Harriers for the Royal Navy after moving back to the UK in 1997 following his father’s death. However, a change in military policy and his height and weight challenges made him pivot. Instead, he entered the computer industry, first working for a shock absorber company where his IT problem-solving skills unexpectedly launched him into cybersecurity sales.
Dom worked in cybersecurity since 1999, selling everything from proxies to next-gen firewalls, and spoke about how the industry evolved from basic firewalls to advanced AI-driven systems protecting organizations in real-time. He recounted a hilarious moment early in his career when he accidentally ruined a £50,000 digital whiteboard at the House of Lords by using a permanent marker.
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Music Journey
Dom’s music background included learning guitar by ear from Metallica’s Kill ‘Em All and idolizing bands like Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. He played in a heavy metal band named Choke Hold before transitioning toward blues, rock, and even country after meeting his wife Maya.
They discussed the joy of finding the “pocket” while performing, where everything clicks among bandmates—whether on stage or in intimate jams. Dom shared his pride in translating “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” solo onto guitar and described his vast collection of 72 guitars and 19 amps, acknowledging a need to downsize.
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Public Speaking & Personality
Dom reflected on how both his music gigs and professional career helped him overcome shyness, gaining confidence through practice and exposure. His public speaking ease was partly forged through high-stakes presentations, like the House of Lords event.
They discussed differences in empathy, introversion, and spectrum-like traits, with Dom revealing his near-photographic memory for facts but not faces. Both noted how music, presentations, and leadership roles require balancing empathy and confidence.
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Cybersecurity Insights
Dom explained how cyberattacks have become faster and more sophisticated, with average “dwell time” dropping from months to days. He highlighted the critical need for cybersecurity professionals, noting 4.8 million unfilled roles worldwide. He also warned about unethical practices within some cybersecurity vendors, referencing historic examples of companies creating viruses to sell antivirus products.
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Health, Longevity, & Lifestyle Shifts
The conversation shifted to health optimization, cold plunges, sauna use, grounding, and how music and vibration may influence well-being, including effects on the microbiome and mitochondria. Dom reflected on his physical peaks—during high-intensity MMA workouts paired with his high-energy music phase—and noted how his fitness and diet habits have evolved.
They discussed drinking habits, the false perception of wine as healthful, and strategies to reduce alcohol’s impact. Dom agreed to start a cold shower challenge for the month as an incremental step toward cold adaptation, promising to check in with you after 30 days.
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Family, Loss & Reflection
Steve and Dom both themes of family legacy, loss, and the importance of organizing one’s affairs for loved ones left behind. Dom shared the impact of losing his father at 20 and his mother more recently, describing caregiving responsibilities and the emotional weight of not having parental advice at life’s milestones.
Steve added insights from your recent experience handling his father’s passing, stressing the practical need for legacy planning (like activating iPhone’s legacy contact feature) and sharing poignant observations about grief, memory, and the role of impactful single sentences.
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Friendship & Community
The podcast closes with mutual appreciation for their shared friend group and its enduring closeness despite time and life changes. Dom emphasized how welcomed he’s felt joining the community six years ago, reflecting on the unique bonds forged through shared music, parties, and meaningful conversations.
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Key Takeaways
1. Dom’s life reflects resilience, adaptability, and humor across military ambitions, tech sales, and music.
2. You both shared valuable perspectives on cybersecurity, health biohacking, grief, and community.
3. The conversation was a rich blend of personal stories, technical insights, and philosophical reflections on family, aging, and meaning.
For a music clip, this month has been crazy busy with issues associated with my father’s passing (I’ll do a solo-podcast on serious lessons learned, primarily to pay it forward…). While digging into the archives, a Facebook memory came up during the writing of this reminding of a session with TimD, JesseH, and AlanW. Tim started strumming Comfortably Numb. We all jumped in. A great example of finding a zone with a small group. My apologies for a replay from an older post, but this one really seemed fitting for several reasons…
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